StevenB
11-07-2002, 11:31 PM
SO YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY? If you can top any of these, you are in
> trouble...
>
> Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of
> forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male
> was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
> back,flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem test
> revealed that the man die not from burns, but from massive internal
> injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators
> then
> set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a
> forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went
> diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters,
> seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet
> of
> helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean
> and emptied at the site of the forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our
> diver was making like a fish in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the
> breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just
> doesn't pay to get out of bed.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
> Still think you're having a bad day?
>
> A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in
> the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped
> into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along
> as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash,
> ran
> in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding,the motorcycle, and the
> shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and,because the house
> sat
> on
> a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet
> the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
> While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right
> the
> motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled
> gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. After
> being
> treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio
> door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and
> consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.
> About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in
> the kitchen,
> heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the
> bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks,
> legs
> and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew
> was
> dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the
> ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told
> them. They
> started laughing so hard,one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping
> the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
>
> Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
>
> The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
> in Alaska was
> $80,000. At a special ceremony,two of the most expensively saved animals
> were being
> released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A
> minute later, in
> full view, a killer whale ate them both.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
>
>
> Still think you are having a bad day?
>
> A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
> almost in a
> dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the
> electric kettle.
> Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a
> handy plank of
> wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been
> happily listening to
> his Walkman.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
> STILL think you're having a bad day?
>
> Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
> pigs
> to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.
> Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
> fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to
> death.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
>
> What? STILL having a bad day??
>
> Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
> It came back with
> "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it
> and was blown to
> bits.
>
>
> There now, feeling bettter?
> trouble...
>
> Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of
> forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male
> was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
> back,flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem test
> revealed that the man die not from burns, but from massive internal
> injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators
> then
> set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a
> forest fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went
> diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters,
> seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet
> of
> helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean
> and emptied at the site of the forest fire. You guessed it. One minute our
> diver was making like a fish in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the
> breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just
> doesn't pay to get out of bed.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
> Still think you're having a bad day?
>
> A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in
> the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped
> into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along
> as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash,
> ran
> in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding,the motorcycle, and the
> shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and,because the house
> sat
> on
> a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet
> the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
> While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right
> the
> motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled
> gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. After
> being
> treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the shattered patio
> door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and
> consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business.
> About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in
> the kitchen,
> heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the
> bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks,
> legs
> and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew
> was
> dispatched. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the
> ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told
> them. They
> started laughing so hard,one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping
> the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
>
> Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
>
> The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
> in Alaska was
> $80,000. At a special ceremony,two of the most expensively saved animals
> were being
> released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A
> minute later, in
> full view, a killer whale ate them both.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
>
>
> Still think you are having a bad day?
>
> A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically,
> almost in a
> dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the
> electric kettle.
> Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a
> handy plank of
> wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been
> happily listening to
> his Walkman.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
> STILL think you're having a bad day?
>
> Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
> pigs
> to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany.
> Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
> fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to
> death.
>
> __________________________________________________
__________
>
> What? STILL having a bad day??
>
> Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
> It came back with
> "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it
> and was blown to
> bits.
>
>
> There now, feeling bettter?